He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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