Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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