Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm like, not good at living.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
