i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize