brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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