wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
