I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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