THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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