yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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