Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
