Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize