I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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