So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize