i don't like sucking hair
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
be right there i have to get my cape
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
