rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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