You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
