Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
