She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
