he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
