Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
