good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
