I heard we made out
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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