Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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