they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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