Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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