why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
