I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
