I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize