I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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