They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
