3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
