just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize