i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
