She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
