I'm really into asian looking animals
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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