Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
