pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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