Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Randomize
