You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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