i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
