Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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