My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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