There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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