You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
too bad you live with your parents still
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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