We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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