I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
