I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
