hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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