OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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