their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
