escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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