She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
