dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fuck appropriateness.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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