She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
