I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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