tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
