Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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