yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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