The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
