I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
