I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize