everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
