More tranny stories later!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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